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Detroit, MI – As I sat with Jim Darren, the owner of a small packaging plant for sausage and prepared meats in Detroit, MI, he told me about how the rise of meat substitutes has threatened his business. “As more and more of these plant-based meats appear on the market, we’re really seeing it come out of our bottom line,” said Darren. “That’s why when Joe Biden began his ‘No Malarkey’ bus tour, it was so heartwarming to hear that protecting local sausage factory workers was so central to his campaign. Naturally, I was...Continue reading »

Phoenix, Arizona – When in the second grade, a young, impressionable Alice Cooper experienced a traumatic incident which would change the course of his life forever. While the rest of his classmates drew teddy bears and sunflowers during Friday free time, creative minded Alice worked to paint an intricate scene of an enraged skeleton with a top hat in the foreground of an erupting volcano and a sky full of lightning. When little Alice went to show the teacher, however, instead of being met with warm praise, Mrs. Crawford called his...Continue reading »

Atlanta, Georgia – Magdalena Williamstone is the director of the Entertainment Division at the Center for Disease Control in Atlanta, Georgia, and her take on Covid-19 is clear: “Soon people will run out of gags, jokes, memes and all the other b*llshit they use to cope with the harshness of the lockdown”. Mrs. Magdalena Williamstone in her office outfit The expiration date for global humor has been estimated by the institute for the end of April, 2020. “It has become a Covid-19 tradition” continues...Continue reading »

Lincoln, Nebraska – The authors of your life series had just run out of ideas and came up with this Corona thing as a last resort plot-twist to keep audiences amused. “Because, come on, do you think this is plausible?” asks Bob Mahoney, a self-taught guru from Lincoln, Nebraska. “The authors wrote that a virus from some remote town in China spread from bats to humans and now you have to spend your life at house arrests. Come on!” Zina Richardson, contract killer from Chattanooga, Tennessee, seems to believe what the guru is saying....Continue reading »

Basel, Switzerland – What was a suspect to many has finally turned out to be an uncomfortable truth: Coronavirus has been planted by Swiss tennis maestro Roger Federer to preserve his slams victory record. “It is absolutely clear that he’s the culprit” claims Roberto Oaio, a famous conspiracy theorist from Santiago de Chile. “Look at the numbers. Nadal was about to reach his 20 victories record, and then you have Djokovic that jut cannot stop winning and being unfriendly”. Evil tennis player Roger Federer evaluating samples...Continue reading »


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