Wuhan, China – Chinese authorities are investigating Li Chen, a resident of Wuhan, in order to understand what just exactly was he thinking when he concluded that eating a live bat was a good idea.
“We believe that he thought the risk of causing a pandemia and the global collapse of the economy was bearable compared to the thrill of tasting the raw, warm body of a flying rat” believes Arthur Cho, head of the Corona investigative unit of Chuan.
Li Chen defended himself claiming that all he wanted to do was shooting a photo imitating Ozzy Osbourne when he ate off the head of a bat onstage in 1982. “But sadly things didn’t go as planned” cries Mr. Chen “because the bat had Coronavirus! He is cupable!”.
The habit of eating wild animals that should be left in the wild an not eaten, such as bats, serpents, pangolins and insects in general, is testing the limits of cultural tolerance in the West. “We needed time to accept the French eating land snails, frogs and pigeons, all cooked in butter” claims Loredana Bucci, Head of the Global Institute for cultural tolerance “but this really goes too far”.
Li Chen is held at the Wuhan prison under close dietary watch. He already tried to eat two rats and a cockroach, creating another breed of Coronavirus within the institution.