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Berlin, Germany – A secret memo leaked to The Serpopard reveals a truth that many were suspecting: e-scooters are meant to kill people in order to free up space in town and solve the rent problem. The document, penned by the Green Party, states that “Berlin should not end up like San Francisco or London”, and that an immediate solution is required. Possibly, the measure “will target younger citizens in particular, so to solve also the issue of people that enjoy clubbing or loud music”, considered “possibly...Continue reading »

Berlin, Germany – It all happened within seconds: A careless yoga teacher opens the chakras of yogis in Kreuzberg, the yogis start levitating – and a sudden, stronger wind breeze sends them flying out in the skies of Berlin. Five of the practitioners are still dispersed, with survivors still shocked for the experience. “This tragedy could have been prevented” declares Mariu Biondi, Head of the Anti-Witchcraft Unit at the Berlin Police “had the yoga teacher avoided using the powerful technique of chakra-opening...Continue reading »

Berlin, Germany – “We are thinking about introducing specific speed-limits for senior citizens on bicycles” claims Marka Bakera, director of a city project to limit accidents caused by pedaling old people. “Since the beginning of the year, speed-traps have detected more than 500 episodes of retired Berliners reaching velocities above 120 km/h”. The incredible thing is that no-one can still explain why these people are so fast. It is an experience that every Berliner has gone through: say you are relatively...Continue reading »

Dear Serporeaders, please welcome our new author Klaretta and her new series about life, love and lust! Berlin, Germany – So you finally made it! After a respectable apprenticeship as hipster somewhere around Portland and Halle, you moved to Berlin and got accepted to Soho House. I know that the experience might be overwhelming: everything looks so shiny and different! That’s why I decided to present you with a practical survival guide in order to facilitate your entrance in this world temple of stardom in Berlin Mitte! You...Continue reading »

Hampton, Virginia – The time for rejoicing was very short: right upon the diffusion of the first black-hole photo ever, NASA is planning a mission to go deeper into the thing – a double-rocket expedition to check if the Universe’s prostate is all right. “I can safely assume that there might be some issues with hyperplasia” believes Roger Albert Dam, Ph.D. “This black hole is around 55 million years old and we can expect that around this age the prostate may be enlarged”. Possibly, the...Continue reading »