Los Gatos, California – A secret memo leaked to The Serpopard presents an internal rule of streaming network “Netflix”: apparently, series are renewed season after season with no mercy, just until the point when they become “as boring as real life”.
“Considering covid times” claims Paulito Grossmann, head critic at The New Inquirer “them guys are lowering the bar quite a lot. I mean, to match the boredom of covid-live a series must become REALLY boring”.
It seems that the boring-as-real-life policy is a widespread policy among streamers. It seems now understandable why some once-brilliant series have become a complete different object with no entertainment value whatsoever.
Notable examples include:
- “Money Heist” – Five Seasons. Basically the plot is that some guys are named after cities and they do things.
- “The Walking Dead” – Eleven Seasons. 11. AAAggh! Meeewh! AAGGAgagah!
- “Doctor House” – Eight seasons. Grumpy guy wrong diagnosis because he grumpy, then right diagnosis but he still grumpy. End.
- “Lost” – Six seasons. There is an island which is magnetic and the The Others that go after some Indian engineer and then the plane crash and the flashback goes forward in time with the bum and the bang and the Y aserejé ja de je De jebe tu de jebere Sebiunouva so pratically anything just to keep it running
- “House of Cards” – Six seasons. So, yes, everybody is evil. Ok. So everybody is even more evil and ruthless. Cool. Then also cynical. Awsome. And bad, inside. Next.
- “BoJack Horseman” – Six seasons. Your friend loves it and keeps on talking about it. You don’t find it so funny. Don’t worry: you are normal.
- “Orange is the New Black” – Seven Seasons. You slowly start realizing that the girl got a life sentence.
Netflix also unveiled plans to keep on producing “Stranger Things” for 79 more seasons, until the main characters group up in a retirement home and are hunted by a toothless monster.