Disneyland Berlin opens with large BDSM Kingdom

Posted on Mar 12 2018 - 7:50pm by Luger James

Berlin, Germany – After years in the making, the secret project “Disneyland Berlin” finally opens its doors: “It’s a great moment in the history of global entertainment” claims Rocco Tripper, Vice-President for Parks Extravaganza at Disney. Mr. Tripper claimed that “compared to romantic Paris, also this park embodies some local spirit: hence, the big area dedicated to BDSM, a great Berlin tradition”.

“BDSM Kingdom” will be forbidden to minors and will offer fancy rides such as “It’s a Leather World After All” with puppets dressed up in latex; or the “Mega-Whip” and the “Dark Room Castle”, a sort of anti-Cinderella caste. “In this version” explains Mr. Tripper “Cinderella is a domina than forgets her mouth gag upon leaving a party at the infamous Kit-Kat-Klub. The prince then proceeds to have Cinderella’s sisters trying out the gag until he finds the right one. One way or another, romanticism triumphs!”

There is great excitement for the “50 Shades of Grey” ride, where people will be forced to read the book by E.L. James over and over while watching the film: pure masochism for connoisseurs.

Disneyland Berlin will follow the typical opening hours of the city, from 2pm to 6am. Also the working style in the park will resemble that of the German capital. In the words of Marianna Mons√®, Head of HR Experiments, “as in Berlin, we’ll simply underpay everybody. It’s not a big deal considering that only half of the people will eventually show up to work, most of the time with a strong hangover”.

The park is projected to host 32 million sadomasochists per year in its four entertainment areas, and an entire city of BDSM hotels is currently being developed.

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