Mustafa’s Kebab in Berlin nothing special: he’s just very slow

Posted on Dec 4 2018 - 7:54am by Luger James

Berlin, Germany – It is considered one of the most popular attractions in Berlin: tourists from all over the world just cannot resist standing on line for hours to eat some meat in a bun. But tourist tradition is tourist tradition, and to those that marvel at the never ending line in front of the kebab stand of Mustafa, the only explanation is: it is delicious.

But is it really? A secret source contacted The Serpopard to reveal a scary truth: Mustafa’s kebab is nothing special. He is just very, very slow at preparing it. “It’s like the concept of making you stand in line in front of an empty club, just to give the impression that the place is very popular”, claims our source, a teenage tourist from Antwerp, Belgium.

It seems that on average the preparation of a kebab takes as long as 38 minutes and this time might even increase further in case you opt for more than one sauce. In such event, there have been reports of people waiting for two hours.

During high season, Mustafa’s line might extend until the neighboring city of Potsdam. Some tourists enjoy flying Ryanair from all over Europe just to stand in line, eat a kebab and then fly back, investing the totality of their 48 hours in Berlin waiting to eat.

“In the end, after so much effort, nobody feels like saying that the kebab is nothing special. So you eat it and you claim it’s delicious. And this thing goes on”, claims our source.

Mustafa’s kiosk has been visited by personalities such as Elon Musk, Bill Clinton and Pope Francis. They all had to stand in line in order to get their Kebab. “But hey, it’s part of the fun”, claims Gennaro Marcelli, an Italian tourists on line last Friday, “as you get to know people from all over the world, sharing the same passion for wasting time waiting for a normal kebab, instead of going to a museum”.  “And then there is this thing of getting to know more people” adds Gennaro’s girlfriend, Luisella Redaelli.

It is true. Some reports claim that after having stood in line for the kebab, Pope Francis enjoyed a night out in Berlin with some ravers from Birmingham he had just met.

Mustafa is soon to launch a frozen kebab line where you have to wait three hours before the package opens.


2 Comments so far. Feel free to join this conversation.

  1. Andrew December 4, 2018 at 4:37 pm - Reply

    “It seems that on average the preparation of a kebab takes as long as 38 minutes” – any source for the data? Would be nice to live in the world where claims are actually backed up by data. Who measures, how, when, etc?

    I was there twice, the longest wait of the two was just under 10 minutes (started looking at the watch since I was getting bored and I was alone), the other time I don’t quite remember but it was definitely less.

  2. bayram December 5, 2018 at 4:03 pm - Reply

    guys, i literally live next door to K’Ups Gemüsekebap (Kastanienallee 102, Berlin), its literally the exact same kebap – even bigger and better because tehy take their time preparing it with love (= 1-2 min?)

    the owner has worked several years at mustafas’ and its the same kebap, same sauce, just no queue and no hipstershit.

    i’d recommend. …. tell them “your neighbour sent you” and he ll take special care of you… despite the fact i dont like favoritism … 🙂
    cheers and enjoy!

    PS: bun always tastes better, but “dürüm” is much easier to eat and much bigger for a neglegtibly higher price.

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