Chattanooga, Tennessee – Far-right conspiracy theory QAnon has been recently spreading the news that the evil guy in the Star Wars franchise, Darth Vader, is actually the good guy; and that Luke Skywalker is evil and is also responsible for the Covid pandemic.
“You know that thing called Death Star” claims Volker Zam, a bouncer from Chattanooga, Tennesse “is actually a sophisticated machine invented to heal planets from pandemics, but the so-called resistance destroys it, them bastards!”
The QAnon followers invite people to welcome being lasered to death by advanced planet destroyers. “At least, if you are lasered to death you don’t need to wear a mask” concludes Mr. Zam.
QAnon is reediting Star Wars in order to create a version more faithful to the truth. In this new edition, everybody dies of covid except for Jar Jar Binks – the real QAnon hero.
QAnon hails the gungan hero as the real leader of the “forces of good” and of QAnon itself. QAnon followers are collecting money to produce a Star Wars where all the characters are Jar Jar Binks. Release is planned for 2023 on the main streaming platforms.