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Chattanooga, Tennessee – Matthew Clark IV, a plumber from Rock Spring (TN) is sure that all the other clients at the local Wal-Mart are crazy hoarders that fill up their shopping carts in fear of the Coronavirus epidemic – but he is not. “I am different than this bunch of cretins” declared the voice in the mind of Mr. Clark IV “because I truly need to buy 10 dozens of toilet paper rolls and half a ton of canned beans. I am not doing this because of the virus”. Matthew Clark IV has personally...Continue reading »

There is this pink meteor that lands into the yard of a family somewhere – basically is the same set and same lead actor of that film “Knowing” from 2009. The pink meteor does not bring disco music back to Earth, but something like spores or rays or whatever, nobody really knows what until we see some more film and we realize that basically the meteor has brought bad acting. Everybody overacts. Nicols Cage screams, his wife Joely Richardson screams, their daughter scream, the younger brother screams, and the only one...Continue reading »

Des Moines, Iowa – Ever wondered why in Sci-Fi films all droids speak with that balmy British accent? Are you curious to find out why humanoids met in the most remote corners of the Universe have this tendency to talk as if they were members of the English royalty? “It is a decision humanity is set to make in 2020” claims Prof. Rodrigo Anapurna, head of robotic language research at Des Moines Community College. “It is meant as a joke to future American astronauts, that will hibernate for a couple of generations and...Continue reading »

Wuhan, China – Chinese authorities are investigating Li Chen, a resident of Wuhan, in order to understand what just exactly was he thinking when he concluded that eating a live bat was a good idea. “We believe that he thought the risk of causing a pandemia and the global collapse of the economy was bearable compared to the thrill of tasting the raw, warm body of a flying rat” believes Arthur Cho, head of the Corona investigative unit of Chuan. Li Chen defended himself claiming that all he wanted to do was shooting...Continue reading »

Santa Fe, New Mexico – Independent researchers from Santa Fe University have come to the decisive conclusion that the Coronavirus epidemic has been introduced by Facebook as part of a project to eradicate real human contacts from the face of Earth. “Just think about it how smart it is” claims David Gress, heading the research at the Marketing faculty at the university. “Facebook at first eliminated the need of phone calls, then moved on with eliminating the need to communicate with words – a plan called...Continue reading »