Perth, Australia – As reported by The Guardian, the “Green-Haired Turtle That Breathes Through Its Anus” is disappearing and the World Wildlife Fund is “very happy” about it, “since there is a limit to everything”. These are the comments of Joshua Panda, Head of Conservation Programs at WWF. In his words, “we have enough stress protecting worthy creatures such as the Polar Bear, the Royal Penguin and the Bee. We are truly happy that such a gross animal will soon disappear from the face of the...Continue reading »

Berlin, Germany – Montreal and Berlin engaged in a common political initiative to ask Washington to limit the shipments of hipsters to their cities. The towns passed yesterday a bill to impose quota limits to the amount of US hipsters they are ready to accept every season. “It was fun until 2012 or so, but now it’s just too much” claims Berlin mayor Michael Müller “there is just too many US hipsters on the streets. You cannot find a normal joe for one euro anymore: there are only hipster bio overpriced royal blend...Continue reading »

Tuscaloosa, Alabama – Fred Brodino is the first of a new generation of football players that will complete a Ph.D. before proceeding to the NFL. One of the best running-backs of his year, Mr. Brodino stands great chances to make it to top-tier professional teams, “But quantum-physics comes first”, claims Mr. Brodino, who is pursuing his degree at Alabama University. The athlete completed his undergraduate requirements five years ago, and then joined a MA program about particle accelerators. “But it just seemed not enough...Continue reading »

New York, NY – The preliminary results of the FBI raid into the offices of the personal lawyer of President Trump, Mr. Michael Cohen, have been made public: “We can now confirm without any shadow of doubt” declared Special Counsel Robert Mueller “that Mr. Cohen worked for Trump in the past”. The incredible fact has been supposedly unveiled upon finding a bunch of invoices from Mr. Cohen to Mr. Trump. Service description is quite diverse: it ranges from “Kicking out that bum that doesn’t pay rent from...Continue reading »