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Possum Grape, Arkansas – In a pilot project, all the schools of Jackson County, Arkansas, are going to substitute English literature with gun practice. “It was long due, because when shooter guy gets in, you don’t kick him out with no poem” declares local resident James ‘Cuck’ Roselberry spitting some tobacco on the dry ground in front of his motorhome. The program, titled “Young Guns”, is to be extended to all  US schools within three years. David Mazinga, the spokesperson of the Secretary of Education, claims that “the...Continue reading »

Berlin, Germany – No, it was not for his attempt to lead Catalunya to secede from Spain that he was arrested: political leader Carles Puigdemont was blocked because he tried to assault and kill his hair stylist in Barcelona. “Look at what he did to me” declared Mr. Puigdemont to the German police “Would you have done anything differently?”. A State Attorney present at the declaration admitted that yes, he would have done the same. The attack took place Monday as Mr. Puigdemont went for his monthly haircut to “Ernesto”...Continue reading »

Mount Graham, Arizona – “Of course it’s a bad thing that the Empire wants to shoot at us and terminate planet Earth, but I must agree with them. The moon is the Death Star and will shoot if the next Star Wars film is as devastatingly terrible as the last ones” claims Prof. Sigismund Lothar, Head of Close Space Exploration at Large Binocular Telescope in Mount Graham. “It all started with The Phantom Menace and that Jar Jar Binks thing” adds the professor “when we noticed some strange movement on the...Continue reading »

Rome, Italy – it came as a shock in the halls of the Vatican: Pope Francis’s Facebook account has been suspended due to policy infringement. As reported by the Website, “It seems that an individual named Jorge Mario Bergoglio wasn’t using his real name, and this is not accepted by the company rules”. Mother Severa, a nun working in the Vatican, reports of town rumors about a “sad Francis calling friends as a means to fill up the evenings he previously invested on Facebook”. The head of the Catholic...Continue reading »

Berlin, Germany – Super-direct in their communication, lacking any trivial form of courtesy (“Please”, “Would you”), engaging in associations rather than families, not very familiar with “feelings”: it wasn’t hard to imagine and now it is confirmed. Klingons descend directly from Germans. “It struck me as an obsession since I was watching Star Trek – The Next Generation as a teenager” claims Prof. Otto von Rückenschmerzen, Senior Researcher at the German Institute for Scientific Science-Fiction in Berlin...Continue reading »