Still no explanation why old men on rusty bicycle twice as fast as you

Posted on Apr 24 2019 - 8:32am by Luger James

Berlin, Germany“We are thinking about introducing specific speed-limits for senior citizens on bicycles” claims Marka Bakera, director of a city project to limit accidents caused by pedaling old people. “Since the beginning of the year, speed-traps have detected more than 500 episodes of retired Berliners reaching velocities above 120 km/h”.

The incredible thing is that no-one can still explain why these people are so fast. It is an experience that every Berliner has gone through: say you are relatively young, you are riding your new, fancy bike and you are not hungover. You think: I should be reasonably fast!

But then – no, with a swoosh, like a bullet cutting the air, senior citizens on rusty bikes, possibly wearing white socks and flip-flops, seem to be flying on the street – leaving you with more than a doubt whether yoga is serious training or not.

Potsdam University has started a research project to investigate the phenomenon. Dr. Sira Duncan, chief coordinator, believes that “possibly the speeding skills are due to a mix of schnaps and Bratwürst, creating a blend of alcohol and fat that burns at temperatures higher than those of a furnace. Vegans should think twice about their diet or they risk to be left behind”.

The research is made even more difficult by the fact that speeding old people are just hard to catch. Mrs. Bakera is planning the introduction of net-traps, although “it will be hard to find a material capable of resisting the impact with those aging rockets”.

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