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Detroit, MI – As I sat with Jim Darren, the owner of a small packaging plant for sausage and prepared meats in Detroit, MI, he told me about how the rise of meat substitutes has threatened his business. “As more and more of these plant-based meats appear on the market, we’re really seeing it come out of our bottom line,” said Darren. “That’s why when Joe Biden began his ‘No Malarkey’ bus tour, it was so heartwarming to hear that protecting local sausage factory workers was so central to his campaign. Naturally, I was...Continue reading »

Lincoln, Nebraska – The authors of your life series had just run out of ideas and came up with this Corona thing as a last resort plot-twist to keep audiences amused. “Because, come on, do you think this is plausible?” asks Bob Mahoney, a self-taught guru from Lincoln, Nebraska. “The authors wrote that a virus from some remote town in China spread from bats to humans and now you have to spend your life at house arrests. Come on!” Zina Richardson, contract killer from Chattanooga, Tennessee, seems to believe what the guru is saying....Continue reading »

Basel, Switzerland – What was a suspect to many has finally turned out to be an uncomfortable truth: Coronavirus has been planted by Swiss tennis maestro Roger Federer to preserve his slams victory record. “It is absolutely clear that he’s the culprit” claims Roberto Oaio, a famous conspiracy theorist from Santiago de Chile. “Look at the numbers. Nadal was about to reach his 20 victories record, and then you have Djokovic that jut cannot stop winning and being unfriendly”. Evil tennis player Roger Federer evaluating samples...Continue reading »

Washington, DC – After it was confirmed that UK Prime Minister and Donald Trump’s voodoo doll, Boris Johnson, tested positive for Covid-19, Americans have begun to hope that Trump will experience symptoms via voodoo which will be intense enough to momentarily end his shitshow of a government response. “I normally loose brain cells whenever the President speaks, but the way he fumbles his response to such a serious matter makes me wish I had a Trump voodoo doll to stab” said Horace Feldman, a Philadelphia resident. “Like, if coronavirus is an...Continue reading »

Our cook-extraordinaire Jean-Claude goes all-in with his own recipe for pizza! Feeling bored during lockdown? No problem! Spice up your life with some great cuisine! ...