Basel, Switzerland – What was a suspect to many has finally turned out to be an uncomfortable truth: Coronavirus has been planted by Swiss tennis maestro Roger Federer to preserve his slams victory record.
“It is absolutely clear that he’s the culprit” claims Roberto Oaio, a famous conspiracy theorist from Santiago de Chile. “Look at the numbers. Nadal was about to reach his 20 victories record, and then you have Djokovic that jut cannot stop winning and being unfriendly”.
The plan masterminded by the notoriously evil Swiss tennis star worked perfectly: all major tournaments have been called off until the virus finishes maiming the global economy.
Mr. Oaio produced a report he single-handedly penned, claiming that the virus has been developed in Federer’s secret lab just below his favorite tennis court. The method has bee cruel: “He has been bashing bats for months with his tennis racket, helped by his side-kick Stan Wawrinka”, reads the report.
“It is just incredible how he blatantly keeps on posting silly Instagram videos where he is pretending to be training alone” claims Mr. Oaio.
It is estimated that the Federer-Virus will last a couple of generations, until basically the tennis slam formula will not exist anymore. “Possibly” concludes Mr. Oaio “Federer’s goal is to rename the Laver Cup to his name”.