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Brussels, Belgium – “It was the only choice” claims EU Commission President Jean-Claude Juncker. “Those Brits have been just incapable of finding a way to leave the European Union. So Europe decided to leave the European Union”. Europe will create a new international organization named “No Brits Club”, where the common feature of all members is that they are not Britain. “This will open up possibilities of membership even for African or Asian countries”, claims Mr. Juncker. The...Continue reading »

Ottawa, Canada – He was possibly the only politician able at striking decent dancing moves, but this was not enough to save him from yet another scandal looming above his administration. As a corruption story is forcing basically all of his ministers to resign, a secret dog fight ring has been discovered in the cellar of his home at 24 Sussex Drive in Ottawa. “We got a lead from a local dog food market owner” claims Detective Giuliano Mangoes, leading the case “as Mr. Trudeau wearing a Clouseauesque costume...Continue reading »

Brussels, EU – “Not so fast” claimed EU Commission President Jean-Claude Juncker after the latest pantomime stage at Westminster last week. “If them Brits want to – hic – join the EU back, they must face some long-due changes”. The “Re-EU” plan has been drafted by the European Commission almost overnight and includes a diverse set of measures. First, the Brits will have to learn driving on the right side of the road, “also because in virtually every film shot in Britain someone...Continue reading »

Poznan, Poland – “That’s where they had ended up!” were the first words of Luca Greff, a Berlin graphic designer, upon learning that his invoices since 2014 had been retrieved. The documents have resurfaced in a deposit in the middle-of-nowhere town of Poznan, in Poland, together with an estimated 10,000 cubic meters (350,000 cubic feet) of other unpaid invoices from Berlin. There is everything possible: web design, videomaking, photoshooting – although around 75% is for “Life Coaching Session”...Continue reading »

Washington, D.C. – In an unprecedented move, the White House declared today that a new tax on influencers may be introduced this year. “It’s a recognition that free-market capitalism failed” declared spokesperson Sarah Elizabeth Huckabee Sanders, “because to twit some b*llshit an influencer makes more money that an academic in a lifetime”. The levy will be around 99% of the revenue realized by the influencer. “It’s still a lot of money left in the pocket of the guys” adds Mrs. Sanders...Continue reading »