Rocky Mountains, Colorado – “It is finally ready” annouced this morning former US President Donald Trump with an evil laughter. “My secret orcs breeding facility is ready to spit out hundreds of thousands of supporters for mz persona from tonight to the 2024 election!”
The announcement was delivered at a press conference in front of a pyramid-shaped mountain that – interestingly enough – had changed color in the last months, transitioning from the usual brickstone-red of the Colorado mountains, to a dead fashion of green mostly seen in the orcs-infested territories of the Middle Earth.
Mr. Trump proceeded to push a button and in a few seconds from a hole in the montain exited Mr. Jason Sacramento, a plumber and self-proclaimed world politics expert, waving a Trump flag in one hand and an assault rifle in the other.
“And more, and more, and more!” started shouting Mr. Trump in a frenzy, pushing and pushing the button. Trump Mountain generated in sequence:
- Mrs. Pascalina Stevenson, creationist and banjo player
- Mr. Karl-Heinz Smith, slave trader
- Spitty the dog, a pit-bull
- Mr. Paul Thomas Steingold III, professional atmosphere polluter
- Moe Richardson, folk singer and BDSM enthusiast
Once it becomes fully operational, Trump Mountain will be able to generate Trump supporters at a rate of three per second, but possibly this rate will increase to a staggering 600 per second. This means that by mid-2023 the orcs will represent the majority of the US population.
“We will soon invade the US and take back what belongs to us” added Mr. Trump. “These fine people are born from mud pods on US soil and therefore they are fully ‘merican, and are entitled to vote”.
The hordes of Trump supporters will regroup in Denver and start marching to all the states, to register as voters and take over the US. The largest subjects will be selected to stand election and enter Capitol Hill as representatives of the people.