Trump sparks war in Middle East to make up for Fortnite blackout

Posted on Oct 15 2019 - 12:57pm by Andrea Julia Smith

Langley, Virginia – Gen. Kenneth F. McKenzie Jr., Head of the US Northern Command, admitted that the only real reason why US President allowed Turkey to massacre the Kurds was “to create some new exciting combat situation since Fortnite is in blackout modus”.

“And this is very believable” adds New York Times columnist and military expert Manlio Oanapopa “because there is no other possible reason on Earth or in the Heavens explaining why Mr. Trump green-lighted an operation wiping out a strong military alliance between the US and a local, stable army”.

Mr. Trump has actually no clue about what Fortnite is, but in he has reportedly followed his “guts” and decided to keep adrenaline levels up by substituting virtual warfare with a true one.

Challenged about the fact that the US should side with the Kurds, Trump commented that possibly the Kurds “make terrible playing partners at Fortnite and never help the Americans, or this is at least what my 9 years old niece says”.

“So” added the POTUS “them Kurds gave us no help 75 years ago for the D-Day and now just do nothing at Fortnite. Sad”.

The pssibility of the US intervening to stop the unjust killing and avert the Kurds to sidelining with Syria’s dictator Assad, supported by Iran and Russia, turning the whole region into Moscow’s tool, is not clear yet and may depend on the launch of the new Fortnite season.

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