Mount Graham, Arizona – “Of course it’s a bad thing that the Empire wants to shoot at us and terminate planet Earth, but I must agree with them. The moon is the Death Star and will shoot if the next Star Wars film is as devastatingly terrible as the last ones” claims Prof. Sigismund Lothar, Head of Close Space Exploration at Large Binocular Telescope in Mount Graham. “It all started with The Phantom Menace and that Jar Jar Binks thing” adds the professor “when we noticed some strange movement on the...Continue reading »

Rome, Italy – it came as a shock in the halls of the Vatican: Pope Francis’s Facebook account has been suspended due to policy infringement. As reported by the Website, “It seems that an individual named Jorge Mario Bergoglio wasn’t using his real name, and this is not accepted by the company rules”. Mother Severa, a nun working in the Vatican, reports of town rumors about a “sad Francis calling friends as a means to fill up the evenings he previously invested on Facebook”. The head of the Catholic...Continue reading »

Sucre, Bolivia – Amid the Cambridge Analytica scandal, the founder of Facebook Mark Zuckerberg last night took a redeye to Sucre, a city in Bolivia, in an attempt to escape coming charges. But he could not resist the tentation to post some photos of himself with the local population on Facebook – and that’s how the FBI, in close collaboration with the Interpol, found him. “Actually it was just an intern wasting her time on Facebook” declared Sergej Sprudel, Head of IT Chases at the Bureau: “She got tired...Continue reading »

Springfield, Il – Schools and offices are to remain closed until further notice also in Indiana, Illinois and Ohio as the iPhone zombie epidemic is heading East after having infected the entirety of the West coast, Quebec and Yucatan. “It’s an apocalypse come true” claims Dr. Rochius Blanmonger, Head of Apple Related Diseases at the CDC, “as more and more people keep on spending their entire life watching the screen of their smartphone”. Infected citizens are provoking an unprecedented stream of accidents...Continue reading »