North Korea nuclear tests are actually Kim-Jong-Un’s massive farts

Posted on May 29 2018 - 6:47pm by Zac De La Vigne

Pyongyang, North Korea – The artificial earthquake that made all seismographs go crazy yesterday was not due to yet another nuclear test by North Korea, but rather a massive flautulence by PRC’s leader Kim-Jong-Un.

“I am not sure this is a relief” declared South Korea’s president Moon Jae-in “because the thing has been huge and could be even more dangerous than a nuclear test”.

A McDonald diet behind the explosion

Kim’s gas emission is possibly due to years of strict dieting on junk food from McDonalds, supplies the leader receives through secret shipments that reach Pyongyang’s airport daily.

Randall Heidman, a seismologist active in Japan, is quite worried about the current development of the fart crisis: “at his range of gaining weight, Kim might explode as soon as this August, and the possible casualties are estimated to be in the millions”.

UN envoy to reach North Korea and monitor diet

The UN will send an envoy next week to monitor Kim’s diet and study a way to dismantle Kim.

The White House commented in a note that Kim’s problem is the real reason why the coming summit with President Trump has been called off. “We were just to embarrassed to say it”, claims

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