New York City, NY – The American nation appears very excited to spend yet another Christmas dinner talking about the ever-going covid pandemic. “It’s just so exciting” believes John F. Puternackal, a plumber from upstate New York. “I cannot wait to sit down and listen to uncle Ricardo starting his rants about the Illuminati controlling the global infection”.
Possibly, corona Christmas dinner are starting to follow a tradition, with charachters that tend to repeat at all gatherings:
- Auntie Karla. She is a single lady in her late-fifties so scared of corona, that she drinks the wine filtering it with her mask. She doesn’t say a word to avoid spreading the virus and she screams in disgust if someone comes closer than five feet
- That strange date of cousin Louisa. It is some guy in his late twenties whose peculiarity is that of having a terrible cold, frightening all the party at every cough. When he blows his nose the noise is like a Wagner trumpet
- Cousin Francesca. She is sixty-three, but she believes to be a hippy at college. She has the most incredible theories about corona-remedies and just cannot stop talking about it. The cures mostly involve chanting and smoking thinks that people normally eat
- Fred. Come on, everybody knows who Fred is.
- Granny Paulette. Everybody loves granny Paulette although she doesn’t say a word all evening, but she is so cute because she looks at everybody with loving eyes. Then she suddenly gives one tremendous loud cough and everybody is worried
- Cousin Tina. She is a manager working in Manhattan and she basically thinks you are all failures. She cannot wait that corona takes you all to the afterworld, so she doesn’t have to show up to those dinners anymore
- Brother-in-law Bud. In a normal year, Bud doesn’t really have any real conversation topic except baseball, but now it’s two years that he talks about corona variants
“I can really see my family here” claims Mr. Puternackal “especially Fred. I am so excited to meet him again”.
Mr. Puternackal will have to wait: Fred and all the rest of the party will reunite only for the 3rd Covid Thanksgiving dinner, planned for November 23rd, 2022. A nation is waiting.
(Seasons’ greetings from The Serpopard!)