Tampa, Florida – It’s a breakthrough in the history of fitness: the first “demotivational” gym is to open in Tampa, Florida in the fall. “It’s a no-brainer” believes founder Carlito Andersson “because we are just reacting to all the obsession with being in shape and so on. We eliminate the need for being in shape, so people feel no remorse and become happy. Winners don’t quit? So just never start, and you’ll never quit”.
“GiveUp” is the name of the gym and fancies peculiarities carefully studied to demotivate its members. Almost all of the training machines are broken and weights are randomly missing, “so you go like ‘I really wanted to train, but it’s all kaputt'” explains Mr. Andersson.
Upon opening lockers (that can hardly contain a small-sized sports bag) people are met with demotivational sentences such as “You could be working and making money now”; “Why live longer if you have to live like a sick person”; “Middle Age is comin’ and there ain’t no stoppin'”; “What is your boyfriend doing now?”.
Instead of the typical salad bar, GiveUp has a McKFC, a hybrid between a McDonald and a KFC. “It’s a feast of trans-genetic saturated fats,” says Mr. Andersson “where all salads have been removed from sandwiches, and then everything is immersed in the KFC brown coating and fried”.
Of course, the instructors are gross people prone to abuse and groping, so that people will feel even less the need to hit the gym. “Not to mention our yoga classes” claims Mr. Andersson “they are absolutely terrible. Yoga mats are sticky. Not to mention our in-active sport classes of Crossfat”.
Membership starts from 450 USD per month for basic membership without courses. Members can book private sessions with professional demotivators that will try their best to send members home to their couch.
Mr. Andersson plans to open 150 more GiveUp gyms in North America by the end of 2020.