Santa Fe, New Mexico – Independent researchers from Santa Fe University have come to the decisive conclusion that the Coronavirus epidemic has been introduced by Facebook as part of a project to eradicate real human contacts from the face of Earth.
“Just think about it how smart it is” claims David Gress, heading the research at the Marketing faculty at the university. “Facebook at first eliminated the need of phone calls, then moved on with eliminating the need to communicate with words – a plan called ‘Instagram’. And now… this”.
A leaked internal report by Facebook plans the end of face-to-face interaction, hugging, kissing and shaking hands for as soon as 2022. In the analysis, the entire population will be reduced to the status of human larvae feeding on food delivered by sanitized robots, having sex with electronic devices and not seeing sunlight whatsoever.
The Coronavirus has been developed in the headquarters of Facebook in Menlo Park, California, by closing 25 octogenarians with a bad cold in a small room, feeding on Asian food and Pepsi Cola for three months. The room was then dropped in the city of Wuhan in China.
“Possibly” adds Mr. Gress “one of the old guys managed to escape and repair in Italy, where he kept on infecting all the population. But that’s another story”.
The plan to infect the globe with Coronavirus is part of the larger Facebook project of substituting humans with robots, going live by 2025 – so the report says.